Why are children blind? And why do I keep torturing myself by asking them to find things when I know they suffer from this condition??
This morning I was getting Miss 2 out of bed when Miss 4 suddenly discovered she was without toilet paper in the bathroom. I sent Miss 6 down to the pantry to retrieve a few rolls. Of course, of course, of course, she could not find it. What was I thinking? So I could hear Miss 8 out in the living room and I called to her to go help Miss 6 find the toilet paper. Miss 8 actually has found toilet paper successfully in the past, so I felt actual confidence in asking her. I even added a second task. Please grab a pull-up for Miss 2 while you are down there. Miss 4 is dancing in the hallway at this point. Miss 6 races up the stairs to tell me there is nothing but paper towel in the cupboard. I yell to Miss 4 that she better just go potty and wait there for the toilet paper.
For some unknown reason, at this point I still believe my children will be able to find the toilet paper.
I send Miss 6 down to look one more time. She is nearing hysterical tears and she assures me there is nothing but paper towel in the whole house. Miss 8 agrees with her. Miss 8 has also failed to produce a pull-up. She is racing up and down the stairs yelling, did you say the living room or the tv room?
I am still dressing Miss 2. I want to scream in rage at all of my blind children but I am holding my tongue, as a good mother should. Miss 2 is partially dressed at this point, but I am afraid to leave her to go find the toilet paper myself, since she is still without a pull-up. I call to Miss 8 that the pull-ups are downstairs, where she originally looked. She races down the stairs again. Luckily, she is blessed with a moment of vision and brings me an actual pull-up from the downstairs.
I am now free to check for toilet paper. Strangely enough, I am starting to wonder if I actually have run out of toilet paper. I am nervous. I am forgetting that my children are blind. I open the cupboard. There are THREE GIANT PACKAGES of toilet paper sitting right in front of the cupboard.
(Luckily this is the noise that was inside my head, not the noise I actually made. Miraculously, I still did not say anything unkind to my sightless children.)
Miss 4 is happy when I bring her the toiletpaper. Miss 6 is happy that she is off the hook. Miss 8 is happy she too has been relieved of duty. I am the only one who is left feeling unhappy. (To put it mildly.) I go into the kitchen where my dear husband is sitting peacefully at the table. I am just dying to say something. “Why, why why are our children like this? Why are they blind? Why can’t they find anything? Why am I filled with rage so early in the morning? Why did I ask them for help?” He looks at me mildly and says, “I thought those were rolls of paper towel down there, too.”