All These Things That We’ve Done

In the past, the distant past, I might add, Blair and I did not date. Maybe the occasional anniversary date, or random birthday dinner out, but nothing regular.

Years passed, babies came, and we still did not date.

“It’s too expensive.” we said.
“Babysitters cost too much.” we said.
“We can’t think of anything to do.” we said.

After we had our 5th child, we met a couple in our neighborhood who took their date nights VERY seriously.


As in, top-priority,-we-go-even-if-she’s-in-labor, serious.

I thought a lot about that. I wanted to go out. Really, I did, but somehow, the money and the time just never seemed to be there. And the kids were always there, needing a sitter, needing to be taken somewhere or given something or they were sick….you know what I mean.

But, there they were, this couple , making date night look like a serious priority. I was jealous.

We, Blair and I, decided that maybe we could manage a once a month date night.

Our first night out was only a fast food dinner, but without the kids, and the melee that accompanies us on those kinds of outings, it was blissful! And even with the sitter, not as expensive as we’d originally thought.

I was thoughtful…if we could plan inexpensive…even dare I say, ‘free’ dates, and only incur the cost of a sitter, maybe this was really doable??

Those first dates included a lot of hamburgers and tacos and dollar movies and temple trips.

After a few years, we became every-Friday-night people. Dating was fun, and became cheaper once our own children got older.

Enter: a rut.

Pretty soon, we realized we were eating at the same two restaurants and seeing a movie every Friday night. I mean every. The movies were not all award winning… Some were really, really stupid. But we went, because it was Friday night and it was date night and that’s the way we roll.

About a year ago, we realized we were only having dinner and then either going grocery shopping or to Wal-mart and then sneaking back into the house so our kids would not mock us.

“We’re getting older.” we said.
“There’s nothing to do”. we said.
“We’re tired.” we said.

Then we got serious. We read a book by Doug Weiss about Intimacy in marriage. Do not ask how I got my husband to read it. You do not want to know.

The book says to take date night seriously and to take turns planning it. So we did. and we realized that a lot of the movies we’d been settling for were crap. Blair planned a picnic in the park. I planned for us to go shooting. The dates got interesting. We’ve spent the last year branching out and realized, we are a lot of fun!

Enter: The Killers concert last weekend.

Blair brought home a flyer he found on his car in the University parking lot. I got online and bought us tickets. We went. It ROCKED! We got a T-shirt.

We found the answer to a question we’d always had (Are we humans, or are we dancers? Brandon Flowers informed us we are in fact Humans. Whew!)

“We are fun!” we said.
“We are friends!” we said.
“We are smart enough to think of fun things to do!” we said.

We are a walking, married ad for dating your spouse and the benefits it can bring to a relationship.

Enter tonight’s agenda: Bowling!

By the way, For Killers fans:

We are Smiling Like We Mean It because of All These Things We’ve Done🙂

This entry was posted in Maren's posts. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *